that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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