You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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