New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
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Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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