So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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