Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
