I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The uberlube is also flammable
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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