I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
