i don't plan on having that self control this summer
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
