dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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