Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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