you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
