Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
