What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
