My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize