very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
