It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
