I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
