their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
