Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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