dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
