He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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