They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
