Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize