yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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