and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
