Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
