Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
