Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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