I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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