its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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