Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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