just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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