i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I believe in your delicious
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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