I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
