I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
