I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
