if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
