I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
