I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
