i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's blow job season.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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