i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Randomize