think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
