are you so shy because you have an std?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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