She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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