How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
