ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
