there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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