i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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