I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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