Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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