My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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