Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
