I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
honey bunches of taint.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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