if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
