I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
