Don't you send me to vm
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
