have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
