i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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